Then I began thinking, "What if I relax my hair after it grows out?" and slowly I drifted off to my usual day dreaming of me having long hair. LOL. Sometimes I ask myself why I cut my hair in the first place. I could have just let it be, right? And eventually through some miracle I'll have hair that looks almost like that of the beautiful lady, yeah?
Not that I do not like my short hair but I guess it's because it's my ultimate dream to have really big long hair...or maybe the desire to want something I know I cannot immediately have. hm! However, I did cut my hair so that I can grow it healthy, natural, big and black! Just like this....
When it comes to my hair I guess I have never really settled. I cut it short sometime in high school, then I was a red head for a while after high school, after I decided I wanted locs but later changed my mind to going natural with the help of protective styles and soon after I began to relax my hair. Now it's short. Most times I have been influenced by what I see and not what I know will work for me. I guess I really loved to experiment with my hair. However, all that had to change hence my natural hair journey to a big 'fro. Just letting it grow the way I think is best for me.
Thinking about it now, this concept can sort of be applied to peoples personalities. Yesterday I was watching a series where the main character said "I KNOW EXACTLY WHO I AM!". So I began really thinking if it is actually possible to really know who you are. You know, fully figure yourself out.
I know for me there are so many times I have tried taking on different personalities. Either from a character in a movie I liked or just someone I came across (but this was rare). I thought I was just being weird ( I know there are times I can be really weird, like when I hold conversations with imaginary people in my room...*sigh*) but I guess it's a phase. I once heard someone say "In life, so many of us take on so many different personalities before settling into who we actually are."
In the same way I was a "kinyonga" (chameleon) about my hair, is the same way many people are "kinyonga" about their personalities! Usually chameleons camouflage themselves as a defense mechanism. So I guess for humans we camouflage our personalities maybe to just to fit in or to benefit from people. Either way I guess as you grow older you settle into who you really are. ( Though not all of us do :-/)
